Potions, Lotions and Brews

The following recipe has the unusual name of "COCK ALE". It is an ancient recipe and was once a great favourite with farm workers (both male and female).

An old cockerel was taken - killed, plucked, cleaned and flayed (this was done by hitting the chicken corpse against a wooden table, or similar, until all of its bones were broken). This was then added to a barrel of beer in the making. However for this recipe we use chicken we can buy from a supermarket.

Simply roast a chicken (no herbs). Eat said chicken.

Place all leftovers from carcass in a vat and pour over half a pint of dry white wine. Cover and leave in a cool, dark place.

Dissolve 1lb of malt extract and half lb of golden syrup in quarter gallon of water. Boil three quarters of an ounce of hops in three quarters of a gallon of water. Strain hop liquor into malt and golden syrup solution. When cool, add 1 sachet ale yeast.

Next day, skim the scum from beer, strain the wine from the chicken into the beer.

Put chicken in a muslin bag and suspend it in the fermenting beer for 3 days.

Remove, drain the bag, stir the beer and leave it, looselycovered, in a warm place for fermentation to finish. Siphon beer into bottles, prime with half teaspoon of caster sugar per pint, then seal and label. Maybe not "Cock Ale"? Go for "Big Love Beer"? How about "Lunch"?

Store for 3 weeks in a cool dark place before drinking.

 

 

(c/o realcajuncooking.blogspot.com)

Get yourself:

four cups alligator meat, cut into small pieces
half cup oil
one large onion chopped
half cup green onions, chopped
one large bell pepper, chopped
two tbs. parsley
one cup water
one 10oz. can Rotel tomatoes
salt and pepper to taste

 

Ask the alligator to perhaps bathe or make themselves comfortable during preparation.

To make 'sour', mix lime juice, lemon juice, sugar and hot water in roughly equal quantities.

When dissolved chill in refrigerator.

(Whilst cooling you might wish to entertain your alligator with a little erotic poetry or play some mood music on your Inca nose flute.)

   

Ingredients

1 Dungeness crab
coriander (chopped, for garnishing only)
some sugar
two medium sploshes of tamarind juice
salt to taste
a couple of large slugs of cooking oil
several dashes of water – say a quarter of a cup

Spice paste

a bunch of dried red chilies (soaked in hot water and deseeded)
a large splosh of taucheo (fermented yellow bean sauce)
some cloves of garlic
an inch or two of fresh ginger
more than that of lemon grass (the white part only)

 

A simple remedy when short of cash.

With the last of your funds, purchase a gross of candlesticks and half a kilo (at least) of sulphur, and a gas mask.

Sneak into bank at a busy time with a carrier bag, a cooking stove, an old iron pan, candlesticks (now finely grated) and sulphur.

   
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